Whether you are a hard working dad, stay-at-home mom, lawyer, layman, policeman, politician, if you are breathing, you will have to encounter people. There is just no way around it. In addition to this, no matter whom you are relating to, you will be hurt and will feel the weight of pain in relationship. It's not a matter if you get hurt, but how will you respond when you are?  And being in ministry for many years, I have learned one thing related to this dynamic - responding wrongly by harboring hurt and offense is a death blow to any relationship.

Consequently, I have seen the issue of withholding forgiveness (with bitterness and resentment) as a main tool in the enemies hand. It has crept into the body for way too long and I think it's time we expose it and get free from it!  Since the enemy cannot bring a direct reproach against God, he does so by using people. When he can't break through to this generation with accusations about God, he will use faulty and frail people to convey a polluted message. If he can get you offended at others, and in "wounded-mode," he will get you disillusioned about God and His ways.

Saints, you were not created to withhold forgiveness. Rather, we were called to be ministers of mercy and extensions of His unending love. Our lives are to be a living epistle read by all men. Refuse to hold on to offense! Forgive. Love. Live out your created design.

I have learned to enact 3 principles when dealing with offense. They are REPEL, REPENT, RELEASE:

1. Be quick to REPEL the hurt and offense. Remember, we wrestle not against people (flesh and blood), but against the accusations and weapons of the enemy. He wants to use the (negative) words and actions of others to get you off track and the sooner you repel (and cast off) these things, the less room you give the accuser. Many offenses are fueled as we let them “simmer” in our hearts and minds, and the longer you hold on to an offense, the more difficult it becomes to release it in the long term. What many times begins as a misunderstanding can soon turn into forms of fiery anger as we dwell on an unresolved offense. Serve a notice on your emotions and make the offenses short term.
2. If you have withheld forgiveness, REPENT of agreeing with the lies and accusations of the enemy. Repentance can be defined as "to make a total turn around with the mind and soul." Every offense that is not dealt with quickly has the potential to resonate within our inner man, soon turning into bitterness and forms of anger. The enemy builds fortifications of doubt and unbelief by unresolved lies and negative thoughts. Therefore, we must break the power of the lies by the powerful tool of repentance (changing the way we see the situation and the person).
3. RELEASE and bless the ones who have wounded you and “crossed the line.” It is not enough just to forgive them, we must release them by being proactive in our disposition about them. And, there is no better way to stay free than by praying and blessing those who persecute you. This is the litmus test of a mature believer!  As we bless them in prayer and our conversation with others, we shut the door to the accuser, leaving no room for his deadly whispers.